here come the day

i was officially graduated from medical university last 25th june 2010. and it was 74th graduation ceremony conducted by KGMU.

i finished exam on 21st june. since dat day, my eye got infected. the first symptom actually appeared last week, i felt pulsating under my L orbit. then 2 days before my final exam, i started to feel dull pain. on exam the day, the pain increased. so after the exam, i went to polyclinic for examination of my eye. the doctor prescribed ointment TOBRADEKS and eye drops DEKS-TOBRIN.

the next day, the pain became worst. i looked like someone who got a punch in the eye. even, wide edema was present. i tried to look at the conjunctiva, but nothing was present, absent redness of the eye or conjunctiva. weird .... it was something inside that was invisible from the outside.

so i went to see the doctor again. he said i got a pilus, abscess. he told me that im gonna need a puncture. huwaaaa into my eye? scary !!!!!! he put LA, then with a big needle he puncture the abscess. i felt blind for a while as the blood covered my sight. then i had to go back home, with 1 hand holding a cotton bandage. and people looked at me like i was in some kind of a really big trouble. huhu~

i dunno wat the reason of my infection. maybe due to summer dust. or maybe due to my bad rhinitis that appeared before it. i say bad rhinitis bcoz it coz me visiting toilet for so many times to evacuate green/purulent mucus.

anyway, Alhamdulillah i attended my graduation day with my almost recovered eye.

i'll be needing this song when i am down during HO

i wonder how much dignity there is

throughout this world im living in right now

i think it's all just meaningless

maybe im a little worn out

putting what i have obtained on one hand

i see the radiance of several things i cast away on the other

it isn't such a peaceful world

that i can grieve over every single one

exactly what dream should i draw?

what sort of wish should i go on embracing

the future is calling out for us

is that voice now audible to you, too?

i wonder what would say if you were here

would you make fun me and call me gloomy

i wish i could see your gentle smile

so this melancholy of mine would blow away

even if i can never get a hold of it

the light that resembles fireworks

one more time, one more time

one more time, one more time

i want to reach out with this hand

everyone is bearing sadness

but is hoping for a wonderful tomorrow

a world gushed by cowardice

and inclined to conflicts

i wonder how much i'll be able to love it

thinking too much, im at a loss for words

i hate my clumsiness

when out of the blue i act skillfully

i hate that even more

whether laughing or crying

time passes evenly

the future is calling out for us

ia that voice now audicle to you, too?

that farewell would eventually head our way

even though we knew it all along

one more time, one more time

one more time, one more time

i thank you from the bottom of my heart

water constantly tumbling and flowing

transparent and never settling

if my heart could be like that.....

at all these times i wanted to see you

at all those times i missed you

one more time, one more time

one more time, one more time

i want to imprint you firmly into my memory

everyone has problems

but is hoping for a wonderful tomorrow

a world gushed by cowardice

and inclined to conflicts

i wonder how much they'll be able to love it

one more time, one more time

one more time, one more time

If Allah was to grant you 70 years of your life. you would spend:

24 years - sleeping

14 years - working

8 years - amusement

6 years - at dinner table

5 years - transportation

4 years - conversation

3 years - education

3 years - watching tv

If you prayed 5 times a day, you would be giving Allah 4 months of your life.

Can't we give 4 months out of 70 years???

Let us all give Allah a minimum of 4 months

ISLAM is BEST

SOLAT is COMPULSORY

AKHIRAT is FOR REST

WORLD is ONLY ACCESSORY

If QURAN is in chest

nothing need next

obey Allah first

freedom and success will be next!!

my pic as cover of SYNAPSE volume III 2010

synapse is our uni magazine, produced for malaysian students studying in CSMU.

last winter kenyi, kok hong and i went for photoshoot around the uni area. it was about 7 o'clock in the evening.

that day was different from any other night, the sky was so orange redish in colour.

then i got an idea to get the shoot from in front of the gate so that i can get the KGMU logo along with the main building.

im so happy with the shoot coz it gave the cooper blended lighting colour.

visa to russia

finally i got the visa to russia today.

the officer at the russian consulate of simferopol branch was so cooperative and friendly and helpful...

am sooo excited. cant wait to meet my sister..... yeay!!

msg: for easy doing visa to russia, the details you can get from this webpage. http://www.getrussian.com/

Yeay !!! 21 May 2010

since last night i cant sleep..

dup dap dup dap

my heart's been beating loud

my mind's been thinking hard

i feel like i cant do anything this whole day...

crazy of doing nothing just because....

because ive been waiting for the result to come out

i heard it will be announced around 2pm

it's passed 2pm already,

yet there were rumors came out

we might needed to wait for next few hours

yet it's already passed 5pm

they said, then it will be announced on tuesday because monday is the trinity day

i was so weak of doing anything at first, now i started to make bihun tom yam

at least i need to do something for our dinner (me n mas)

later, after a while... i heard khairy came back and he told us that everyone had passed the exam

in my heart, i said....wow! i passed the medical licence (KROK) 2010. im becoming a doctor. a captain doctor specifically...

i said to my self, n praise to Allah..... Alhamdulillah...

Leave me alone......

sedih harini....

sukarkah untuk difahami....

untuk memiliki yg diingini...

hmmm......

im just into this song rite now

something for sharing

Subhanallah....

MAHER ZAIN- OPEN YOUR EYES

Look around yourselves
Can’t you see this wonder
Spreaded infront of you
The clouds floating by
The skies are clear and blue
Planets in the orbits
The moon and the sun
Such perfect harmony

Let’s start question in ourselves
Isn’t this proof enough for us
Or are we so blind
To push it all aside..
No..

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look bright to see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way
(Allah..)
Guide us every single day..
(Allah..)
Keep us close to You
Until the end of time..

Look inside yourselves
Such a perfect order
Hiding in yourselves
Running in your veins
What about anger love and pain
And all the things you’re feeling
Can you touch them with your hand?
So are they really there?

Lets start question in ourselves
Isn’t this proof enough for us?
Or are we so blind
To push it all aside..?
No..

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look bright to see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way
(Allah..)
Guide us every single day..
(Allah..)
Keep us close to You
Until the end of time..

When a baby’s born
So helpless and weak
And you’re watching him growing..
So why deny
Whats in front of your eyes
The biggest miracle of life..

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look quiet we’ll see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way
(Allah..)
Guide us every single day..
(Allah..)
Keep us close to You
Until the end of time..

Open your eyes and hearts and minds
If you just look bright to see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way
(Allah..)
Guide us every single day..
(Allah..)
Keep us close to You
Until the end of time..

Allah..
You created everything
We belong to You
Ya Robb we raise our hands
Forever we thank You..
Alhamdulillah..

Artist: Maher Zain
Album: Thank You Allah
Copyright: Awakening Records 2009

i started my surgical cycle 3 weeks ago.

surgical department has only 1 female surgeon. all others are men. it's tradition i think, in Ukraine or anywhere in the world that men conquer the surgical department.

our lecturer was Mr Rezanov

he's tall, with a nice smile...

he's kinda cool doctor. i think thats why he can be a surgeon.

he made me feel more fun studying or having discussion about surgery. no need to stress out. simple but understandable.

he also made me realized....

as a surgeon, u don wanna cut out every organs in the body to remove the abnormality. but, u wan to expand the quality of life of the patient. so, u must limit the surgery accordingly...

yes, patient just can see the stitches from the outside. if the wound is well stitched, they will give double thumbs-up to the surgeon. but then, the surgeon is the one who cannot sleep well at night if what he did inside it was not well done.

if the present literature already provides the best approach, u dun need to modify it. and if u did modify it, it's ur call, ur responsibility... (Hartman-like?)

why presents for birthday?

during our way to go n find present for someone's birthday...

i told my fren that i dunno what wil be my next birthday present for my fiance. cuz we've been together since about 9 years ago. i did give many presents to him even not on special occasions. then i said to my fren "that was just 9 years. i dunno how later when we spend the rest of our lives together" then she said "for me, i dun mind about the present. the important is the moment"

yes...that is true...
the moment is more important. family n frens gathering.. celebrating ur birthday.. get the wishes not only from people who are close to u... while for couples, u can have candle light dinner or anything to realize that 'moment'

but, when i think it back.... my family and my fiance are far away in malaysia for this past 6 years of my birthday. how can we make that 'moment'? (except the moment with frens la). of coz wherever u r, u want ur mum, dad, siblings and bf to make that 'moment' become that 'moment'. (haha...do u understand my language?) because they are ur beloved ones...

i stil remember, when i was just about 8 years old kid. my dad gave me a cute pink pencilbox (yg cm hebat la time zaman tu. tekan ni buka itu, tekan itu buka ini). i used/keep it for almost 6 years. (im kinda a good person in keeping my things in a good condition. bukan jenis lempaq sana, lempaq sini). and i know everytime i looked at it, it reminds me of that moment of my birthday.

so...i dun think u can only rely on the moment it self aite. present is also important part of celebrating birthday. thats why people are giving presents on birthday.

during that time la u can show that u know the person very well by selecting the right present for her/him.

as a token of remembrance....and showing ur appreciation...


anyway, once a year...bile lagi nak dpt hadiah aite?

happy quarter of decade birthday

today im turning 25 ...

come to think about it, i think im becoming old by age. what about physically? is my face becoming old like babushka? (looking at the mirror) haha.... i dun think so, since i think im kinda have a cute baby face (perasan jer. actually nik said that)

i hate to think that my parents do not recognize the maturity in me. people said yeah... u're the 1st child, they hard to believe that their children already grown up as one day, they have to let us go...hmmm

i know im the least among all, being with the family. i was an active person since primary school. i played cak lempong for many occasions including for the Children's Day in front of Permaisuri Terengganu. i went to boarding school from the age of 13 years old (mrsm kk). and since then, im always away from the family. (mrsm serting->matrix pilah->ukraine til now)

as for me, i know what im dealing with in the future. i think....
i'll try to make my self ready for it. i know im gaining experiences.
i know im not too tough, but i also know im not a weak person.











the cute 3 years old girl

can u recognize that she was me in the past?





HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY MUNA!

im a little bit sad today, but actually not little...

it's hard to make sacrifice when we r forced to do so. i hate it so much!

like my mum said 'dun counter back that kind of people, they jus make u even suffer'



'Ya Allah, open up the heart of this kind of people. Soften their hearts, throw out their selfishness'

priority to Allah

if we put our hope n priority to Allah, Allah never let u feel down...

but if we put our hope or priority to any other than Allah, they always let u down...

qadar....

i got the news from a friend, that there's a UK medic student (malaysian) suffers from Hodgkin dis.

i opened his blog. masafzal.blogspot.com

as a medic student, i know it's tough for him to go through everything
ur aim is to be a doctor, helping people...yet u r the one who suffered now..
especially when the course of the disease almost likely in the textbook
and no one can tell lies to calm u down because u know it better (but Allah knows the best)

also as a medic student, he wrote his blog with explainations
to let other people around him understand what he had been through
i think this is also as a good reference for other cancer patient (especially Hodgkin)
with the Al Quran reference (Words from Allah) that help him calm
and make him become even stronger than he was before

i just hope that Allah eases his suffer...let us together pray for his best. InsyaAllah....



remember!!
qadar....the non-changed faith
to live or to die, it's already written in Luh Mahfuz
how, where, when, even minutes and seconds....every details about it
we cant run away from it
as Islam, we must learn how to receive and take it with an open heart (REDHA)
that was what Rasulullah had teach us
so that we can go on with our life without being too sad about something