positive side of early marriage

...there was 1 moment in oncology class, Dr J (the oncologist) asked us about the statistic of breast cancer incidence in malaysia. i answered according to my experience doing practical in selayang and ampang hospitals. malays more than other races. because i saw most of the breast cancer patients are malays either during the checkup or in the ward. yet, the expression from Dr J's face seemed that he didnt agree with my statement. But, he didnt say anything....

on the way back home, i searched about it in my nokia 7390 (LIFE internet-gprs). after i opened few websites, then i got the answer.

• Breast cancer incidence per 100 000 population in Malaysia (2003): 33.9 for Malay, 59.7 for Chineese and 55.8 for Indian
• Cumulative risk to get cancer for Chineese (1 per 14), Indian (1 per 15) and Malay (1 per 24).

means, the incidence in malay less than in chineese and indian.


the next day, i told Dr J about my research and.... he started to smile. he asked us to remember back what risk factors of breast cancer and relate to the statistic.

risk factors

• age: more than 50 years old (risk increase by age)
  
• race: white women more likely to develop than black women
• family history of breast cancer
• history of endometrial or ovarian cancer
• present previous history of breast cancer
• long estrogen exposure
• long menstrual history
• late pregnancy (after 30 years old) or absent of pregnancy
• lifestyle: obesity, lack exercise and alcoholic

malays (muslims) in malaysia, most of them get married at the young age of twenties because islam and also in malay tradition, ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO GET MARRY, to avoid the influence of negative moral. this leads to early pregnancy (pregnancy it will pushes breast cells into the final phase of maturation). islam juga menggalakkan kita MERAMAIKAN UMMAH (byk zuriat). pregnancy causes many hormone changes in the body. For one thing, pregnancy interrupts the normal menstrual cycle hormone levels for some time. Some studies have suggested that breast-feeding may slightly lower breast cancer risk, if only breast-feeding is continued for 1½ to 2 years or if many children are breast-fed. The reason for this may be that both pregnancy and breast-feeding REDUCE A WOMAN'S TOTAL NUMBER OF LIFETIME MENSTRUAL CYCLES.

but recently, malaysian artists get married around the age of early thirties and some of them even older than that. this CHANGES PERSPECTIVE OF THE CITIZEN. because many of them idolize/admire famous artists (especially malays. too fanatic...).

if this continuous, i think in the future, there might be much increase in breast cancer incidence in malays.


#extra-breast cancer is the most common cancer occuring in women, and the 2nd most common
of all cancer occuring in population after lung cancer.
every 3 minutes, 1 woman is diagnosed to have breast cancer (USA)
every 3 minutes, 1 woman is died because of breast cancer (USA)
every year, 30 000 women and 200 men is diagnosed to have breast cancer (UK)

cant help it. my broken english... neway, will try to improve it in the future. hope you can still understand the content. (' ^,)

I like him, because of his smile (melts my hardstone heart....). I like him, because he is polite (again melts my heart). I like him because he is protective. I like him, because he worries about Mei. I like him, because he fights for Mei. (if only he can fights for me...lalala)

I love you Shibata Rihito-sama. (But Hiro-kun already married to Ayaka. uwaaa)

You guys must be really curious, who is he?, despite the fact that im already engaged (sorry my dear...) hehe~...The truth is Shibata Rihito-sama is the male character in Mei-chan No Shitsuji Japan doramas. I already watched it for hundreds times (too many I dont even remember ...) Just this time I have the idea to write about this. hehe~

All couples out there. I recommend you to watch this doramas. why?

Even this doramas is based on fantasy MANGA story by Miyagi Riko. Still, the real points hidden inside the story. It shows you how to handle a relationship. TO FIGHT FOR YOUR LOVE ONE. Both sides, NOT ONE-SIDED ONLY. Dont let the third party ruin yourlife (either the third person, or any other people who wants to destroy your trust to your partner or destroy your relation). Macam2 cerita aku dengar dari kawan2 dan tengok cerakarama kt tv, orang melayu kita yg kekadang penuh dengan hasat dengki yg kuat, tak senang tengok orang lain bahagia. Jangan la di huru-harakan rumah-tangga orang tu. Yang peliknya, kekadang tu datang dari saudara-mara sendiri pulak tu. But, thats the truth in real life. Ish ish ish....

ORDINARY IS THE WAY OF LIFE. That's the decision made by Shuntaro (Mei's father) and also later made by Mei too. Not everything you can get in the world, and not everything you can give up. As long as you make the decision, then fight for it to the end. Aja....fighty oh!

This might be some youngsters story, but from my point of view, this is important for every couple. (young-adult-elderly)


My posts lately seem to be from a love-counsellor. What to do. Love is a big issue during this prime time (at the age of twenties). For me and for those out there. also for my 3 siblings who are about my age. being twenties is full of ups and downs. many of my friends had been through that too and now, some of them are in the beginning of new life. Sometimes, the future is not like what we had long-time imagined before, maybe better than that, even in another way.

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna? Never say goodbye to your marriage or to your love?

Hindustan film Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. Really hits me to the heart. Soooo heartbroken. It comes to the part that i would say "If that is love, then it is scary"

Why must love separate a marriage? why must love separate parents from children?
Scary aite?

In the 1st place, why is this happening?

So many people get married even they dont start with love, but ends with happy ending. BECAUSE life is not only about love. Some people just feel that only love is love, (which means when u find someone who can give u happiness, understands you well). The truth is every other things such as give and take, being responsible, appreciation, sacrifice and so on are also love. It even means deeper than that. How can someone work hard for you (maintaning your relation and life) if it is not because of love. Right? Love is not something visible only, but also something invisible. hidden somewhere that you need to treasure. I heard so many couples said, i wan more, more than that. then, why not ask for it from your partner? not from the other person. or else, ask your self 1st, have you done enough to deserve more?

If u watch that movie, then you'll know that Maya and Dev, they dont work hard for their marriage. Dev too concern about his injured leg and football while Maya about the cleaning thing. When you overdo one thing, then thats why you dont see other thing. I blame Rhea too, maybe she's too busy with her work (but she still can spend her time to have a morning jog with Dev. besides, she's not like other women who left her handicap husband for another man), but what about Rishi? Even he has a same work life as Rhea, he still manage to show his love to Maya. Means no reason. because it can be done even in another way. Not all excuses can solve the problem, and not all excuses are acceptable.

Futhermore, we women, hard to change our love and life. Because Rhea loves Dev, she let him go. But it's hard to get a replacement. A big hole in the heart, it's hard to close it back. She stays as a single mother. Different from Rishi, man usually can easily get one even they said they cant initially. This is the reality out there all around the world.

____________________________________________________________________


So... when you wanna get marry, you need to get ready yourself to a place where you cannot turn back. Ask yourself, why you wanna get marry at the 1st place? Can you be sure that you can SAVE THE MARRIAGE TILL THE VERY END. Yes, many things will happen in the future that we cant predict, but you can still save everything as long as you have a very deep stand in your heart.

When dealing with problems, 1st of all, please dont make it a big problem (that you think divorce is the only solution). Yes, a problem is a problem, but try to find a good way to solve it. Make PATIENT as your teacher in dealing your problem and dont ever try to find a shortcut.

Another advice to marriage couple, whenever you have problems, dont get an opposite gender as your adviser. Sooner or later, you'll never know that you have cross the line. If you think that opposite gender is better to understand your partner, then try to get someone older that you'll never can marry to. Father, mother, father-in-law, mother-in-law, grandma, grandpa, uncle, untie. Try to listen to their advices. Usually they will talk about their marriage too, and how they deal with problems. Sometimes, you'll impress with their story, that reminds you of your happy memories together with your partner. It is really important to remind yourself about your past beautiful memories that makes you dont even wanna leave your partner.

My dear friends, marriage is not an easy thing. The life is different, you cant make things one-sided. LOVE IS LIKE THE LIVING OF 1 SOUL IN 2 DIFFERENT BODIES while MARRIAGE IS LIKE THE LIVING OF 1 LIFE IN 2 DIFFERENT BODIES. (Are you agree with me?) Later, the others (children) will join you . You cant make things easily ('lekeh-lekeh') here and there as you make right now in your life today. Of course it is because it will effect each and everybody around you.

So, make a good decision that you'll never regret. And once you already made one, dont brake it!







I dont have the right to give a good advice because Im yet to be married but.... i heard, listened and watched a lot about the scenario. I hope Im giving a helpful advice to everyone and myself too. Im praying for everyone happiness.

Apabila kita ditanya kenapa kita SOLAT?

Kebiasanya kita menjawab...

• kerana suruhan TUHAN. Dia pencipta yg Maha Berhak di sembah
• solat itu TIANG agama
• termasuk dalam RUKUN Islam, kalau x solat maka kita takda bezala kita dengan orang bukan Islam
• sebab dari kecik2 mak/ayah PUKUL ATAU MEMBEBEL kalau x solat
• selalu ikut ayah pergi MASJID
• budak sekolah kata sebab ustaz kata solat tu WAJIB. tak buat, dapat DOSA
• adik kata sebab kakak TEGUR, jadi solat la sebab malas nak dengar dia kasi ceramah
• sebab TENGOK kawan solat, so aku pun solat la
• sebab kalau x solat, mencari nahas masuk API NERAKA
• sebab lepas solat, boleh BERDOA minta apa yg dihajati
  

Kadang2 kita menjawab....

• sebab nak dapat PAHALA, kumpul untuk timbangan di AKHIRAT. buat jahat dapat dosa. Kalau x cari pahala, bagaimana timbangan kita kelak?
• sebab solat bantu AMAR MAKRUF nahi mungkar

• sebab nak jaga IMAN, hubungan dengan Allah
• sebab lepas solat bole berdoa memohon KEAMPUNAN Tuhan
• sebab kalau x solat, mampukah kita nak QADA' semua solat yg kita tinggalkan jika tunggu umur da 50, 60-an baru nak solat?
• sebab dah TUA, rumah kata pergi kubur kata mari! (habis, muda2 x perlu solat kah? Nak tunggu nak mati baru solat?
• sebab kita golongan akhir zaman, tanda2 besar QIAMAT sudah ada, sejauh mana kita masih leka dengan perkara duniawi

Jarang2 sekali kita menjawab

• sebab dalam solat ada SYAHADAH. Kalau x solat, x syahadah 1 hari?? jadi sejauh mana keIslaman kita hari ini?
• sebab solat tu bole mengingatkan PERBEZAAN kita dengan orang yg dah meninggal, bahawa kita masih ada masa untuk menambah pahala dan meningkatkan iman
• sebab melalui solatlah, sekurang2nya dpt mengingatkan kita untuk berdoa dan BERSEDEKAH pahala kepada ibu bapa kita, datuk nenek kita dan saudara-mara kita yg telah berada di alam barzakh. Di dunia bukan main kita kata kita sayang ibu bapa kita, tp kalau mereka sudah tiada, sejauh mana kita menunjukkan kasih sayang kita?
• sebab melalui solat, dapat melepaskan KERINDUAN pada Allah
• kerana ikhlas untuk mendapat KEREDHAAN-NYA

Kekadang kita juga lupa bahawa solat ini juga membawa kepentingan dari segi meningkatkan BENTENG DIRI kita. ( tidak mudah takut dengan makhluk lain seperti jin..) Dengan sentiasa mengingatkan diri bahawa Allah Tuhan Yg Maha Esa, secara tidak langsung menjauhikan diri daripada dengan mudah terpedaya dengan HASUTAN SYAITAN secara terus atau melalui org lain. ( kebanyakan org melayu kita mudah terpedaya dengan ajaran sesat)

Sudah ramai orang barat membuat kajian berkaitan solat, dan akhirnya mereka membuat keputusan untuk memeluk Islam. Sedangkan kita yg dilahirkan sebagai seorang Islam masih lagi meringan-ringankannya. Memang benar, sesiapa yg bergelar Islam, Allah telah janjikan syurga pada setiapnya. Namun, mahukah kita menjadi golongan yg terakhir masuk ke syurga? WallahuAlam. fikir2kan lah.


Walau apa pun jawapan anda...kita sudah tidak mampu tepuk dada tanya selera. Solat bukan la suatu perkara yg kita lakukan jika kita teringin, atau jika kita ada mood. Tapi solat itu adalah AMANAH dari PENCIPTA kita, ALLAH Subhanahu Wa Taala. Sebagai manusia, atau dengan lebih spesifik INSAN (yg bermaksud yg LUPA), jika kita diingatkan tentang bersolat maka bersegeralah kita melakukannya sebelum terlambat. Lagipun, sifat lupa ini adalah sifat yg lemah...maka sebagai pelupa yg lemah, kita sama sekali tidak boleh sombong kepada Pencipta kita.

IsyaAllah. Sesamalah kita...

when i was a kid, my mom bought me a storybook, i dun really remember the full title of the book. but, i do remember, the story is about a bad-tempered dog. (i forgot the name, i'll give a new 1 for each character)

okay, 1 day a dog named bob, walk around the neighborhood. from far away, he sees pup and pyp (a twin dogs) playing together happily. but as he come nearby them, both of them become silent. later bob continue his walk as he feels it is not enjoyable anymore to play there with them.

later, he meets a group of cats and dogs laying on the grass at the playgound while their owners are playing together. soon after he come nearby, all the kids take their cats and dogs and walk away from bob. bob doesnt understand why everyone trying to avoid him.

later he meets cindy (a middle age female dog). he tells cindy what had happened that day. cindy bring bob to the lake. she asks bob to see his face in the water.

now, bob already knows why everyone trying to avoid him. it is his ugly ANGRY face, not just scares them but really dont fit the happy and pleasant atmosphere.

since then, bob always put a smile on his face. now, he can play with everyone happily.


conclusion: dont be a bad-tempered person. especially if u dont have a reason to get angry to other people who are not connected to ur problem. it's not scary but it's UGLY. if u dont believe me, jus try this-> everytime u get angry, try to see urself in a mirror or ask ur friend to snap a pic. what does it look like? my bf once took my pic when i got angry, really it's not cute. or should i say enough to boil the water, or to scare the ghost. hahaha~

p/s: anyone who ever read this storybook, please let me know the real title of the story.