i started my surgical cycle 3 weeks ago.

surgical department has only 1 female surgeon. all others are men. it's tradition i think, in Ukraine or anywhere in the world that men conquer the surgical department.

our lecturer was Mr Rezanov

he's tall, with a nice smile...

he's kinda cool doctor. i think thats why he can be a surgeon.

he made me feel more fun studying or having discussion about surgery. no need to stress out. simple but understandable.

he also made me realized....

as a surgeon, u don wanna cut out every organs in the body to remove the abnormality. but, u wan to expand the quality of life of the patient. so, u must limit the surgery accordingly...

yes, patient just can see the stitches from the outside. if the wound is well stitched, they will give double thumbs-up to the surgeon. but then, the surgeon is the one who cannot sleep well at night if what he did inside it was not well done.

if the present literature already provides the best approach, u dun need to modify it. and if u did modify it, it's ur call, ur responsibility... (Hartman-like?)

why presents for birthday?

during our way to go n find present for someone's birthday...

i told my fren that i dunno what wil be my next birthday present for my fiance. cuz we've been together since about 9 years ago. i did give many presents to him even not on special occasions. then i said to my fren "that was just 9 years. i dunno how later when we spend the rest of our lives together" then she said "for me, i dun mind about the present. the important is the moment"

yes...that is true...
the moment is more important. family n frens gathering.. celebrating ur birthday.. get the wishes not only from people who are close to u... while for couples, u can have candle light dinner or anything to realize that 'moment'

but, when i think it back.... my family and my fiance are far away in malaysia for this past 6 years of my birthday. how can we make that 'moment'? (except the moment with frens la). of coz wherever u r, u want ur mum, dad, siblings and bf to make that 'moment' become that 'moment'. (haha...do u understand my language?) because they are ur beloved ones...

i stil remember, when i was just about 8 years old kid. my dad gave me a cute pink pencilbox (yg cm hebat la time zaman tu. tekan ni buka itu, tekan itu buka ini). i used/keep it for almost 6 years. (im kinda a good person in keeping my things in a good condition. bukan jenis lempaq sana, lempaq sini). and i know everytime i looked at it, it reminds me of that moment of my birthday.

so...i dun think u can only rely on the moment it self aite. present is also important part of celebrating birthday. thats why people are giving presents on birthday.

during that time la u can show that u know the person very well by selecting the right present for her/him.

as a token of remembrance....and showing ur appreciation...


anyway, once a year...bile lagi nak dpt hadiah aite?

happy quarter of decade birthday

today im turning 25 ...

come to think about it, i think im becoming old by age. what about physically? is my face becoming old like babushka? (looking at the mirror) haha.... i dun think so, since i think im kinda have a cute baby face (perasan jer. actually nik said that)

i hate to think that my parents do not recognize the maturity in me. people said yeah... u're the 1st child, they hard to believe that their children already grown up as one day, they have to let us go...hmmm

i know im the least among all, being with the family. i was an active person since primary school. i played cak lempong for many occasions including for the Children's Day in front of Permaisuri Terengganu. i went to boarding school from the age of 13 years old (mrsm kk). and since then, im always away from the family. (mrsm serting->matrix pilah->ukraine til now)

as for me, i know what im dealing with in the future. i think....
i'll try to make my self ready for it. i know im gaining experiences.
i know im not too tough, but i also know im not a weak person.











the cute 3 years old girl

can u recognize that she was me in the past?





HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY MUNA!

im a little bit sad today, but actually not little...

it's hard to make sacrifice when we r forced to do so. i hate it so much!

like my mum said 'dun counter back that kind of people, they jus make u even suffer'



'Ya Allah, open up the heart of this kind of people. Soften their hearts, throw out their selfishness'

priority to Allah

if we put our hope n priority to Allah, Allah never let u feel down...

but if we put our hope or priority to any other than Allah, they always let u down...

qadar....

i got the news from a friend, that there's a UK medic student (malaysian) suffers from Hodgkin dis.

i opened his blog. masafzal.blogspot.com

as a medic student, i know it's tough for him to go through everything
ur aim is to be a doctor, helping people...yet u r the one who suffered now..
especially when the course of the disease almost likely in the textbook
and no one can tell lies to calm u down because u know it better (but Allah knows the best)

also as a medic student, he wrote his blog with explainations
to let other people around him understand what he had been through
i think this is also as a good reference for other cancer patient (especially Hodgkin)
with the Al Quran reference (Words from Allah) that help him calm
and make him become even stronger than he was before

i just hope that Allah eases his suffer...let us together pray for his best. InsyaAllah....



remember!!
qadar....the non-changed faith
to live or to die, it's already written in Luh Mahfuz
how, where, when, even minutes and seconds....every details about it
we cant run away from it
as Islam, we must learn how to receive and take it with an open heart (REDHA)
that was what Rasulullah had teach us
so that we can go on with our life without being too sad about something