anamnesis

here come the day

2010-07-06T15:03:00.000-07:00

i was officially graduated from medical university last 25th june 2010. and it was 74th graduation ceremony conducted by KGMU.

i finished exam on 21st june. since dat day, my eye got infected. the first symptom actually appeared last week, i felt pulsating under my L orbit. then 2 days before my final exam, i started to feel dull pain. on exam the day, the pain increased. so after the exam, i went to polyclinic for examination of my eye. the doctor prescribed ointment TOBRADEKS and eye drops DEKS-TOBRIN.

the next day, the pain became worst. i looked like someone who got a punch in the eye. even, wide edema was present. i tried to look at the conjunctiva, but nothing was present, absent redness of the eye or conjunctiva. weird .... it was something inside that was invisible from the outside.

so i went to see the doctor again. he said i got a pilus, abscess. he told me that im gonna need a puncture. huwaaaa into my eye? scary !!!!!! he put LA, then with a big needle he puncture the abscess. i felt blind for a while as the blood covered my sight. then i had to go back home, with 1 hand holding a cotton bandage. and people looked at me like i was in some kind of a really big trouble. huhu~

i dunno wat the reason of my infection. maybe due to summer dust. or maybe due to my bad rhinitis that appeared before it. i say bad rhinitis bcoz it coz me visiting toilet for so many times to evacuate green/purulent mucus.

anyway, Alhamdulillah i attended my graduation day with my almost recovered eye.

i'll be needing this song when i am down during HO

2010-06-11T04:41:00.000-07:00

i wonder how much dignity there is

throughout this world im living in right now

i think it's all just meaningless

maybe im a little worn out

putting what i have obtained on one hand

i see the radiance of several things i cast away on the other

it isn't such a peaceful world

that i can grieve over every single one

exactly what dream should i draw?

what sort of wish should i go on embracing

the future is calling out for us

is that voice now audible to you, too?

i wonder what would say if you were here

would you make fun me and call me gloomy

i wish i could see your gentle smile

so this melancholy of mine would blow away

even if i can never get a hold of it

the light that resembles fireworks

one more time, one more time

i want to reach out with this hand

everyone is bearing sadness

but is hoping for a wonderful tomorrow

a world gushed by cowardice

and inclined to conflicts

i wonder how much i'll be able to love it

thinking too much, im at a loss for words

i hate my clumsiness

when out of the blue i act skillfully

i hate that even more

whether laughing or crying

time passes evenly

the future is calling out for us

ia that voice now audicle to you, too?

that farewell would eventually head our way

even though we knew it all along

one more time, one more time

i thank you from the bottom of my heart

water constantly tumbling and flowing

transparent and never settling

if my heart could be like that.....

at all these times i wanted to see you

at all those times i missed you

one more time, one more time

i want to imprint you firmly into my memory

everyone has problems

but is hoping for a wonderful tomorrow

a world gushed by cowardice

and inclined to conflicts

i wonder how much they'll be able to love it

one more time, one more time

2010-06-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

If Allah was to grant you 70 years of your life. you would spend:

24 years - sleeping

14 years - working

8 years - amusement

6 years - at dinner table

5 years - transportation

4 years - conversation

3 years - education

3 years - watching tv

If you prayed 5 times a day, you would be giving Allah 4 months of your life.

Can't we give 4 months out of 70 years???

Let us all give Allah a minimum of 4 months

ISLAM is BEST

SOLAT is COMPULSORY

AKHIRAT is FOR REST

WORLD is ONLY ACCESSORY

If QURAN is in chest

nothing need next

obey Allah first

freedom and success will be next!!

my pic as cover of SYNAPSE volume III 2010

2010-05-29T02:22:00.000-07:00

synapse is our uni magazine, produced for malaysian students studying in CSMU.

last winter kenyi, kok hong and i went for photoshoot around the uni area. it was about 7 o'clock in the evening.

that day was different from any other night, the sky was so orange redish in colour.

then i got an idea to get the shoot from in front of the gate so that i can get the KGMU logo along with the main building.

im so happy with the shoot coz it gave the cooper blended lighting colour.

visa to russia

2010-05-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

finally i got the visa to russia today.

the officer at the russian consulate of simferopol branch was so cooperative and friendly and helpful...

am sooo excited. cant wait to meet my sister..... yeay!!

msg: for easy doing visa to russia, the details you can get from this webpage. http://www.getrussian.com/

Yeay !!! 21 May 2010

2010-05-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

since last night i cant sleep..

dup dap dup dap

my heart's been beating loud

my mind's been thinking hard

i feel like i cant do anything this whole day...

crazy of doing nothing just because....

because ive been waiting for the result to come out

i heard it will be announced around 2pm

it's passed 2pm already,

yet there were rumors came out

we might needed to wait for next few hours

yet it's already passed 5pm

they said, then it will be announced on tuesday because monday is the trinity day

i was so weak of doing anything at first, now i started to make bihun tom yam

at least i need to do something for our dinner (me n mas)

later, after a while... i heard khairy came back and he told us that everyone had passed the exam

in my heart, i said....wow! i passed the medical licence (KROK) 2010. im becoming a doctor. a captain doctor specifically...

i said to my self, n praise to Allah..... Alhamdulillah...

2010-05-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Leave me alone......

2010-04-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

sedih harini....

sukarkah untuk difahami....

untuk memiliki yg diingini...

hmmm......

im just into this song rite now

2010-04-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

something for sharing

Subhanallah....

MAHER ZAIN- OPEN YOUR EYES

Look around yourselves
Can’t you see this wonder
Spreaded infront of you
The clouds floating by
The skies are clear and blue
Planets in the orbits
The moon and the sun
Such perfect harmony

Let’s start question in ourselves
Isn’t this proof enough for us
Or are we so blind
To push it all aside..
No..

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look bright to see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way
(Allah..)
Guide us every single day..
(Allah..)
Keep us close to You
Until the end of time..

Look inside yourselves
Such a perfect order
Hiding in yourselves
Running in your veins
What about anger love and pain
And all the things you’re feeling
Can you touch them with your hand?
So are they really there?

Lets start question in ourselves
Isn’t this proof enough for us?
Or are we so blind
To push it all aside..?
No..

When a baby’s born
So helpless and weak
And you’re watching him growing..
So why deny
Whats in front of your eyes
The biggest miracle of life..

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look quiet we’ll see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way
(Allah..)
Guide us every single day..
(Allah..)
Keep us close to You
Until the end of time..

Open your eyes and hearts and minds
If you just look bright to see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way
(Allah..)
Guide us every single day..
(Allah..)
Keep us close to You
Until the end of time..

Allah..
You created everything
We belong to You
Ya Robb we raise our hands
Forever we thank You..
Alhamdulillah..

Artist: Maher Zain
Album: Thank You Allah
Copyright: Awakening Records 2009

2010-02-27T10:43:00.000-08:00

i started my surgical cycle 3 weeks ago.

surgical department has only 1 female surgeon. all others are men. it's tradition i think, in Ukraine or anywhere in the world that men conquer the surgical department.

our lecturer was Mr Rezanov

he's tall, with a nice smile...

he's kinda cool doctor. i think thats why he can be a surgeon.

he made me feel more fun studying or having discussion about surgery. no need to stress out. simple but understandable.

he also made me realized....

as a surgeon, u don wanna cut out every organs in the body to remove the abnormality. but, u wan to expand the quality of life of the patient. so, u must limit the surgery accordingly...

yes, patient just can see the stitches from the outside. if the wound is well stitched, they will give double thumbs-up to the surgeon. but then, the surgeon is the one who cannot sleep well at night if what he did inside it was not well done.

if the present literature already provides the best approach, u dun need to modify it. and if u did modify it, it's ur call, ur responsibility... (Hartman-like?)

why presents for birthday?

2010-02-21T12:49:00.000-08:00

during our way to go n find present for someone's birthday...

i told my fren that i dunno what wil be my next birthday present for my fiance. cuz we've been together since about 9 years ago. i did give many presents to him even not on special occasions. then i said to my fren "that was just 9 years. i dunno how later when we spend the rest of our lives together" then she said "for me, i dun mind about the present. the important is the moment"

yes...that is true...
the moment is more important. family n frens gathering.. celebrating ur birthday.. get the wishes not only from people who are close to u... while for couples, u can have candle light dinner or anything to realize that 'moment'

but, when i think it back.... my family and my fiance are far away in malaysia for this past 6 years of my birthday. how can we make that 'moment'? (except the moment with frens la). of coz wherever u r, u want ur mum, dad, siblings and bf to make that 'moment' become that 'moment'. (haha...do u understand my language?) because they are ur beloved ones...

i stil remember, when i was just about 8 years old kid. my dad gave me a cute pink pencilbox (yg cm hebat la time zaman tu. tekan ni buka itu, tekan itu buka ini). i used/keep it for almost 6 years. (im kinda a good person in keeping my things in a good condition. bukan jenis lempaq sana, lempaq sini). and i know everytime i looked at it, it reminds me of that moment of my birthday.

so...i dun think u can only rely on the moment it self aite. present is also important part of celebrating birthday. thats why people are giving presents on birthday.

during that time la u can show that u know the person very well by selecting the right present for her/him.

as a token of remembrance....and showing ur appreciation...

anyway, once a year...bile lagi nak dpt hadiah aite?

happy quarter of decade birthday

2010-02-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

today im turning 25 ...

come to think about it, i think im becoming old by age. what about physically? is my face becoming old like babushka? (looking at the mirror) haha.... i dun think so, since i think im kinda have a cute baby face (perasan jer. actually nik said that)

i hate to think that my parents do not recognize the maturity in me. people said yeah... u're the 1st child, they hard to believe that their children already grown up as one day, they have to let us go...hmmm

i know im the least among all, being with the family. i was an active person since primary school. i played cak lempong for many occasions including for the Children's Day in front of Permaisuri Terengganu. i went to boarding school from the age of 13 years old (mrsm kk). and since then, im always away from the family. (mrsm serting->matrix pilah->ukraine til now)

as for me, i know what im dealing with in the future. i think....
i'll try to make my self ready for it. i know im gaining experiences.
i know im not too tough, but i also know im not a weak person.

the cute 3 years old girl

can u recognize that she was me in the past?

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY MUNA!

2010-02-14T10:06:00.000-08:00

im a little bit sad today, but actually not little...

it's hard to make sacrifice when we r forced to do so. i hate it so much!

like my mum said 'dun counter back that kind of people, they jus make u even suffer'

'Ya Allah, open up the heart of this kind of people. Soften their hearts, throw out their selfishness'

priority to Allah

2010-02-12T05:01:00.000-08:00

if we put our hope n priority to Allah, Allah never let u feel down...

but if we put our hope or priority to any other than Allah, they always let u down...

qadar....

2010-02-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

i got the news from a friend, that there's a UK medic student (malaysian) suffers from Hodgkin dis.

i opened his blog. masafzal.blogspot.com

as a medic student, i know it's tough for him to go through everything
ur aim is to be a doctor, helping people...yet u r the one who suffered now..
especially when the course of the disease almost likely in the textbook
and no one can tell lies to calm u down because u know it better (but Allah knows the best)

also as a medic student, he wrote his blog with explainations
to let other people around him understand what he had been through
i think this is also as a good reference for other cancer patient (especially Hodgkin)
with the Al Quran reference (Words from Allah) that help him calm
and make him become even stronger than he was before

i just hope that Allah eases his suffer...let us together pray for his best. InsyaAllah....

remember!!
qadar....the non-changed faith
to live or to die, it's already written in Luh Mahfuz
how, where, when, even minutes and seconds....every details about it
we cant run away from it
as Islam, we must learn how to receive and take it with an open heart (REDHA)
that was what Rasulullah had teach us
so that we can go on with our life without being too sad about something

my last winter

2009-12-13T14:09:00.000-08:00

it is so cold inside the room
i wonder why...??

so i walk to the window
wahhh it's already white outside the room
it's snowing

the 1st snow during my final year winter...
this season, it's gonna be my last winter season..

here, during winter, last 4 years, i experienced the most lowest temperature in my life
-35 degree celcius
and here, i had my experience of few times falling on the ground during walking on the slippery ice...
here also, i had my memorable time with my classmates playing shooting ice ball, making the snowman...
and here too, i had my chocolaty dirty shoes everytime the ice started to melt and mix with the ground and become MILO..

im gonna miss ukraine
im gonna miss simferopol
im gonna miss bahcisarai
im gonna miss kiev

before im gonna miss everything here, i will try to treasure anything left so that i will not regret later. (as u know, it is not easy to come back to ukraine as we Malaysians need to apply visa.)

the shooting bullet questions

2009-12-06T04:28:00.000-08:00

Really...studying medicine is not easy.

of coz oxford handbook just to give u the clue. but for the details, 1 thick book for 1 topic is not enough. even searching the internet also is not enough. there's no book perfectly compiled. because year by year, new info come out, update the old one. plus, different doctor's opinion from different countries all over the world make 1 topic have slightly different explaination.

luckily i have Merck, awin has Harrison, Gima has Kumar n Clark and others has different book.
so, it is like having a scientists conference in the class while facing the shooting bullet questions from our lecturer (diagnostic therapist). Madam Mengileva is the best! hehehe~

hope i can long last remember her teaching....and become a good doctor....

Курбан баuрам

2009-11-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

Salam eid adha to all my muslims brothers n sisters,

every year, we celebrate eid adha. but how much we put the meaning of Qurban (sacrifice) inside our heart and life?

many of us living in what people called it as comfort zone. we do our own things, we dont interrupt other people. yet, we forgot about something....how much have we spend our time to look back to what we had done. was it something good for ourselves, or was it something that damages ourselves.

im sure, many of us had experience of doing THE WRONG WAY. (as a muslim, we understand the wrong way or MUNGKAR means anything that brings 'murka Allah'.) but, only few of us realize the reality. and only fewer of us make SACRIFICE by throwing away the wrong way out of their life.

it's hard to make sacrifice, yet it's easy to celebrate Eid adha.

3 weeks holiday~quarantine swine flu

2009-11-15T17:26:00.000-08:00

it's been a long time....

im bored. 3 weeks holiday.2weeks had passed. 1 more week to go. all because of the epidemic of swine flu.

....and here i am. in my room. with my travelmate 6291. on the bed. under the blanket.

i heard outside is so cold n windy. (my teacher said, "if it is a cold wind, means it is from the north") the weather...that ive been through all this 5 years in ukraine. never imagine, 1 day i will never feel this kind of environment again....

this is my final year of my course, also would be my last time to play with the snow. after this no more snow, no more cold, no more russians....

in another hand, i cant wait to finish up my study. go back to malaysia. to the hot country. meet my family. settle down. and start working.

OMG!,that means im back to where my sinus attacks me everyday. thats another point why i like living in cold country, my sinus attack frequently appear during summer, and less during other seasons. while in malaysia, it will be throughout the year.

anyway, HUJAN EMAS DI NEGERI ORANG, HUJAN BATU DI NEGERI SENDIRI, still... LEBIH BAIK DI NEGERI SENDIRI aite?

MAYBANK vs CIMB

2009-07-13T00:31:00.000-07:00

i lost my maybankard when my purse was robbed. my fiance, his CIMB card already cut into 2 pieces. So, we both need to redo our cards.

we went out late that day. we reached ampang point about 12 o'clock in the afternoon. as we afraid that we couldnt complete our mission before lunch time, so we went separately. i went to MAYBANK while he went to CIMB.

at MAYBANK
there were 2 people before me. the officer was a woman. she's so efficient while doing her work.

after i got my bank card, i went to my fiance, at CIMB.
from far, i can see his reddened face. he's been waiting for 1 hour, and only 1 people in line before him since 1 hour ago.

yes i know maybank is the giant bank in malaysia, but CIMB must improve their services if they want to compete with other banks. not only the new interior design, new uniform, but best services must come 1st.

nona

2009-07-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

it's on nona tv3, nana af's wedding. whats so special bout it? bcoz she's an artist? nope... im quite touch bcoz she made a suprise on her wed day. she gave her mum a car (a merce) as an appreciation for taking care n raised her.

ne mnoga lyudi delait vo tak.

2009-06-28T16:07:00.001-07:00

i just finished my exam. Alhamdulillah everything went well. it's time to go back home. malaysia, here i come.

Videoclip DISKOTEKA AVARIA in KL

2009-06-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

I love this song since my 2nd year in ukraine. They are russian pop music group. I got this from my roomate, where she got the link from her friend in UK.

positive side of early marriage

2009-05-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

...there was 1 moment in oncology class, Dr J (the oncologist) asked us about the statistic of breast cancer incidence in malaysia. i answered according to my experience doing practical in selayang and ampang hospitals. malays more than other races. because i saw most of the breast cancer patients are malays either during the checkup or in the ward. yet, the expression from Dr J's face seemed that he didnt agree with my statement. But, he didnt say anything....

on the way back home, i searched about it in my nokia 7390 (LIFE internet-gprs). after i opened few websites, then i got the answer.

Breast cancer incidence per 100 000 population in Malaysia (2003): 33.9 for Malay, 59.7 for Chineese and 55.8 for Indian
Cumulative risk to get cancer for Chineese (1 per 14), Indian (1 per 15) and Malay (1 per 24).

means, the incidence in malay less than in chineese and indian.

the next day, i told Dr J about my research and.... he started to smile. he asked us to remember back what risk factors of breast cancer and relate to the statistic.

risk factors

age: more than 50 years old (risk increase by age)
race: white women more likely to develop than black women
family history of breast cancer
history of endometrial or ovarian cancer
present previous history of breast cancer
long estrogen exposure
long menstrual history
late pregnancy (after 30 years old) or absent of pregnancy
lifestyle: obesity, lack exercise and alcoholic

malays (muslims) in malaysia, most of them get married at the young age of twenties because islam and also in malay tradition, ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO GET MARRY, to avoid the influence of negative moral. this leads to early pregnancy (pregnancy it will pushes breast cells into the final phase of maturation). islam juga menggalakkan kita MERAMAIKAN UMMAH (byk zuriat). pregnancy causes many hormone changes in the body. For one thing, pregnancy interrupts the normal menstrual cycle hormone levels for some time. Some studies have suggested that breast-feeding may slightly lower breast cancer risk, if only breast-feeding is continued for 1½ to 2 years or if many children are breast-fed. The reason for this may be that both pregnancy and breast-feeding REDUCE A WOMAN'S TOTAL NUMBER OF LIFETIME MENSTRUAL CYCLES.

but recently, malaysian artists get married around the age of early thirties and some of them even older than that. this CHANGES PERSPECTIVE OF THE CITIZEN. because many of them idolize/admire famous artists (especially malays. too fanatic...).

if this continuous, i think in the future, there might be much increase in breast cancer incidence in malays.

#extra-breast cancer is the most common cancer occuring in women, and the 2nd most common
of all cancer occuring in population after lung cancer.
every 3 minutes, 1 woman is diagnosed to have breast cancer (USA)
every 3 minutes, 1 woman is died because of breast cancer (USA)
every year, 30 000 women and 200 men is diagnosed to have breast cancer (UK)

2009-05-29T04:19:00.000-07:00

cant help it. my broken english... neway, will try to improve it in the future. hope you can still understand the content. (' ^,)

2009-05-29T02:27:00.000-07:00

I like him, because of his smile (melts my hardstone heart....). I like him, because he is polite (again melts my heart). I like him because he is protective. I like him, because he worries about Mei. I like him, because he fights for Mei. (if only he can fights for me...lalala)

I love you Shibata Rihito-sama. (But Hiro-kun already married to Ayaka. uwaaa)

You guys must be really curious, who is he?, despite the fact that im already engaged (sorry my dear...) hehe~...The truth is Shibata Rihito-sama is the male character in Mei-chan No Shitsuji Japan doramas. I already watched it for hundreds times (too many I dont even remember ...) Just this time I have the idea to write about this. hehe~

All couples out there. I recommend you to watch this doramas. why?

Even this doramas is based on fantasy MANGA story by Miyagi Riko. Still, the real points hidden inside the story. It shows you how to handle a relationship. TO FIGHT FOR YOUR LOVE ONE. Both sides, NOT ONE-SIDED ONLY. Dont let the third party ruin yourlife (either the third person, or any other people who wants to destroy your trust to your partner or destroy your relation). Macam2 cerita aku dengar dari kawan2 dan tengok cerakarama kt tv, orang melayu kita yg kekadang penuh dengan hasat dengki yg kuat, tak senang tengok orang lain bahagia. Jangan la di huru-harakan rumah-tangga orang tu. Yang peliknya, kekadang tu datang dari saudara-mara sendiri pulak tu. But, thats the truth in real life. Ish ish ish....

ORDINARY IS THE WAY OF LIFE. That's the decision made by Shuntaro (Mei's father) and also later made by Mei too. Not everything you can get in the world, and not everything you can give up. As long as you make the decision, then fight for it to the end. Aja....fighty oh!

This might be some youngsters story, but from my point of view, this is important for every couple. (young-adult-elderly)

My posts lately seem to be from a love-counsellor. What to do. Love is a big issue during this prime time (at the age of twenties). For me and for those out there. also for my 3 siblings who are about my age. being twenties is full of ups and downs. many of my friends had been through that too and now, some of them are in the beginning of new life. Sometimes, the future is not like what we had long-time imagined before, maybe better than that, even in another way.

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna? Never say goodbye to your marriage or to your love?

2009-05-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

Hindustan film Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. Really hits me to the heart. Soooo heartbroken. It comes to the part that i would say "If that is love, then it is scary"

Why must love separate a marriage? why must love separate parents from children?
Scary aite?

In the 1st place, why is this happening?

So many people get married even they dont start with love, but ends with happy ending. BECAUSE life is not only about love. Some people just feel that only love is love, (which means when u find someone who can give u happiness, understands you well). The truth is every other things such as give and take, being responsible, appreciation, sacrifice and so on are also love. It even means deeper than that. How can someone work hard for you (maintaning your relation and life) if it is not because of love. Right? Love is not something visible only, but also something invisible. hidden somewhere that you need to treasure. I heard so many couples said, i wan more, more than that. then, why not ask for it from your partner? not from the other person. or else, ask your self 1st, have you done enough to deserve more?

If u watch that movie, then you'll know that Maya and Dev, they dont work hard for their marriage. Dev too concern about his injured leg and football while Maya about the cleaning thing. When you overdo one thing, then thats why you dont see other thing. I blame Rhea too, maybe she's too busy with her work (but she still can spend her time to have a morning jog with Dev. besides, she's not like other women who left her handicap husband for another man), but what about Rishi? Even he has a same work life as Rhea, he still manage to show his love to Maya. Means no reason. because it can be done even in another way. Not all excuses can solve the problem, and not all excuses are acceptable.

Futhermore, we women, hard to change our love and life. Because Rhea loves Dev, she let him go. But it's hard to get a replacement. A big hole in the heart, it's hard to close it back. She stays as a single mother. Different from Rishi, man usually can easily get one even they said they cant initially. This is the reality out there all around the world.

____________________________________________________________________

So... when you wanna get marry, you need to get ready yourself to a place where you cannot turn back. Ask yourself, why you wanna get marry at the 1st place? Can you be sure that you can SAVE THE MARRIAGE TILL THE VERY END. Yes, many things will happen in the future that we cant predict, but you can still save everything as long as you have a very deep stand in your heart.

When dealing with problems, 1st of all, please dont make it a big problem (that you think divorce is the only solution). Yes, a problem is a problem, but try to find a good way to solve it. Make PATIENT as your teacher in dealing your problem and dont ever try to find a shortcut.

Another advice to marriage couple, whenever you have problems, dont get an opposite gender as your adviser. Sooner or later, you'll never know that you have cross the line. If you think that opposite gender is better to understand your partner, then try to get someone older that you'll never can marry to. Father, mother, father-in-law, mother-in-law, grandma, grandpa, uncle, untie. Try to listen to their advices. Usually they will talk about their marriage too, and how they deal with problems. Sometimes, you'll impress with their story, that reminds you of your happy memories together with your partner. It is really important to remind yourself about your past beautiful memories that makes you dont even wanna leave your partner.

My dear friends, marriage is not an easy thing. The life is different, you cant make things one-sided. LOVE IS LIKE THE LIVING OF 1 SOUL IN 2 DIFFERENT BODIES while MARRIAGE IS LIKE THE LIVING OF 1 LIFE IN 2 DIFFERENT BODIES. (Are you agree with me?) Later, the others (children) will join you . You cant make things easily ('lekeh-lekeh') here and there as you make right now in your life today. Of course it is because it will effect each and everybody around you.

So, make a good decision that you'll never regret. And once you already made one, dont brake it!

I dont have the right to give a good advice because Im yet to be married but.... i heard, listened and watched a lot about the scenario. I hope Im giving a helpful advice to everyone and myself too. Im praying for everyone happiness.

2009-05-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

Apabila kita ditanya kenapa kita SOLAT?

Kebiasanya kita menjawab...

kerana suruhan TUHAN. Dia pencipta yg Maha Berhak di sembah
solat itu TIANG agama
termasuk dalam RUKUN Islam, kalau x solat maka kita takda bezala kita dengan orang bukan Islam
sebab dari kecik2 mak/ayah PUKUL ATAU MEMBEBEL kalau x solat
selalu ikut ayah pergi MASJID
budak sekolah kata sebab ustaz kata solat tu WAJIB. tak buat, dapat DOSA
adik kata sebab kakak TEGUR, jadi solat la sebab malas nak dengar dia kasi ceramah
sebab TENGOK kawan solat, so aku pun solat la
sebab kalau x solat, mencari nahas masuk API NERAKA
sebab lepas solat, boleh BERDOA minta apa yg dihajati

Kadang2 kita menjawab....

sebab nak dapat PAHALA, kumpul untuk timbangan di AKHIRAT. buat jahat dapat dosa. Kalau x cari pahala, bagaimana timbangan kita kelak?
sebab solat bantu AMAR MAKRUF nahi mungkar

sebab nak jaga IMAN, hubungan dengan Allah
sebab lepas solat bole berdoa memohon KEAMPUNAN Tuhan
sebab kalau x solat, mampukah kita nak QADA' semua solat yg kita tinggalkan jika tunggu umur da 50, 60-an baru nak solat?
sebab dah TUA, rumah kata pergi kubur kata mari! (habis, muda2 x perlu solat kah? Nak tunggu nak mati baru solat?
sebab kita golongan akhir zaman, tanda2 besar QIAMAT sudah ada, sejauh mana kita masih leka dengan perkara duniawi

Jarang2 sekali kita menjawab

sebab dalam solat ada SYAHADAH. Kalau x solat, x syahadah 1 hari?? jadi sejauh mana keIslaman kita hari ini?
sebab solat tu bole mengingatkan PERBEZAAN kita dengan orang yg dah meninggal, bahawa kita masih ada masa untuk menambah pahala dan meningkatkan iman
sebab melalui solatlah, sekurang2nya dpt mengingatkan kita untuk berdoa dan BERSEDEKAH pahala kepada ibu bapa kita, datuk nenek kita dan saudara-mara kita yg telah berada di alam barzakh. Di dunia bukan main kita kata kita sayang ibu bapa kita, tp kalau mereka sudah tiada, sejauh mana kita menunjukkan kasih sayang kita?
sebab melalui solat, dapat melepaskan KERINDUAN pada Allah
kerana ikhlas untuk mendapat KEREDHAAN-NYA

Kekadang kita juga lupa bahawa solat ini juga membawa kepentingan dari segi meningkatkan BENTENG DIRI kita. ( tidak mudah takut dengan makhluk lain seperti jin..) Dengan sentiasa mengingatkan diri bahawa Allah Tuhan Yg Maha Esa, secara tidak langsung menjauhikan diri daripada dengan mudah terpedaya dengan HASUTAN SYAITAN secara terus atau melalui org lain. ( kebanyakan org melayu kita mudah terpedaya dengan ajaran sesat)

Sudah ramai orang barat membuat kajian berkaitan solat, dan akhirnya mereka membuat keputusan untuk memeluk Islam. Sedangkan kita yg dilahirkan sebagai seorang Islam masih lagi meringan-ringankannya. Memang benar, sesiapa yg bergelar Islam, Allah telah janjikan syurga pada setiapnya. Namun, mahukah kita menjadi golongan yg terakhir masuk ke syurga? WallahuAlam. fikir2kan lah.

Walau apa pun jawapan anda...kita sudah tidak mampu tepuk dada tanya selera. Solat bukan la suatu perkara yg kita lakukan jika kita teringin, atau jika kita ada mood. Tapi solat itu adalah AMANAH dari PENCIPTA kita, ALLAH Subhanahu Wa Taala. Sebagai manusia, atau dengan lebih spesifik INSAN (yg bermaksud yg LUPA), jika kita diingatkan tentang bersolat maka bersegeralah kita melakukannya sebelum terlambat. Lagipun, sifat lupa ini adalah sifat yg lemah...maka sebagai pelupa yg lemah, kita sama sekali tidak boleh sombong kepada Pencipta kita.

IsyaAllah. Sesamalah kita...

2009-05-10T16:53:00.001-07:00

when i was a kid, my mom bought me a storybook, i dun really remember the full title of the book. but, i do remember, the story is about a bad-tempered dog. (i forgot the name, i'll give a new 1 for each character)

okay, 1 day a dog named bob, walk around the neighborhood. from far away, he sees pup and pyp (a twin dogs) playing together happily. but as he come nearby them, both of them become silent. later bob continue his walk as he feels it is not enjoyable anymore to play there with them.

later, he meets a group of cats and dogs laying on the grass at the playgound while their owners are playing together. soon after he come nearby, all the kids take their cats and dogs and walk away from bob. bob doesnt understand why everyone trying to avoid him.

later he meets cindy (a middle age female dog). he tells cindy what had happened that day. cindy bring bob to the lake. she asks bob to see his face in the water.

now, bob already knows why everyone trying to avoid him. it is his ugly ANGRY face, not just scares them but really dont fit the happy and pleasant atmosphere.

since then, bob always put a smile on his face. now, he can play with everyone happily.

conclusion: dont be a bad-tempered person. especially if u dont have a reason to get angry to other people who are not connected to ur problem. it's not scary but it's UGLY. if u dont believe me, jus try this-> everytime u get angry, try to see urself in a mirror or ask ur friend to snap a pic. what does it look like? my bf once took my pic when i got angry, really it's not cute. or should i say enough to boil the water, or to scare the ghost. hahaha~

p/s: anyone who ever read this storybook, please let me know the real title of the story.

HALAL and HARAM in food intake

2009-04-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

As a muslim, we should concern about halal and haram especially about food. Last time, I tried to collect some info in the internet about this, and I just found only few articles providing the good info, but they are not in a full-version.

HALAL AND HARAM. We learned about this since we were in kindergarten (even just to know pigs and dogs are forbidden to eat), yet we discovered more about it during our school lives.
During Islamic education class, we learn about animals that we cannot eat are pigs and dogs, animals that we kill it without intention because of Allah (chicken, cow and ect.), animals which live in 2 different natures (eg: frogs live in water n land), wild animals which have eye-tooth (canine tooth like tiger, fox and ect.) or carnivore birds which have sharp nails (eagle). each of it has its significant reason.

Besides, sometimes people forget about the foods that they get using 'haram money' are also forbidden (money from stealing, money get from lying or money doing haram work such as GRO and ect). Every single things should be concerned before we eat, because every haram foods that we digest, become bad parts of our body. all this things can darkens our hearts (subjectively) as u wil feel 'aahhh it's easy doing bad rather than doing good'. but yet, u forget the trouble u wil get into later in life by doing wrong.

Get drunk is haram in Islam. Because once you get drunk, you will hallucinate and sometimes do bad things without any purposes. Muslims cannot drink or eat anything contain alcohols inside it.(Wine, vodka, beer....Chocolate also can be haram to eat if it contain ethyl alcohol)

Yeah, some people can say why Islam forbid muslims to drink alcohol? because u can drink without getting drunk, hallucinate etc. but, the truth is, it's hard to control when u start drinking. statistics already showed the result. in fact, the history since before Islam is appeared also showed the same. people do unreasonable things when they drunk. Also in medical too. Alcohol can cause sooo many diseases such as

Alcohol and cardiovascular disease

Alcoholic liver disease

Alcoholic hepatitis

Alcohol and cancer

Alcohol and weight

Fetal alcohol syndrome

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder

Alcoholism

Blackout (alcohol-related amnesia)

Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome

:

so, why getting nearer to alcohol? prevention is better than cure aite?

msg: Certain food ingredients or housewhole things might be haram too, because it may contains of pork's oil or lard or animal gelatin. For further info :-

http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Field/7207/halal.htm

http://www.food-info.net/uk/index.htm (you can check the E-numbers at the ingredient column of the food packet before you buy anything that are without halal sign)

#reference for easy understanding (in malay)

1-Sebenarnya persoalan hukum haram dalam makan ini bukan saja terletak pada babi dan anjing. Memanglah kedua-dua haiwan ini jelas disebut dalam kitab akan haram hukumnya.. tetapi untuk binatang lain kita tidak boleh kata , selain babi dan anjing ..sebat atau balun sajalah..Ini adalah kerana Rasul kita telah mengariskan beberapa panduan untuk kita ..seperti binatang dua alam haram memakannya, binatang bertaring dan berbisa juga haram untuk dimakan ,binatang yang memakan daging juga haram untuk memakannya dan terdapat beberapa binatang yang terkandung dalam khilaf ijmak ulamak tentang hukumnya seperti..walaupun nabi berkata semua ikan dalam laut boleh dimakan tapi katakan ikan buntal.. ikan ini mempunyai bisa dan di sinilah terletaknya ijmak ulamak kerana yang berbisa tentunya akan memudaratkan tubuh badan...
2- "Rasulullah melarang makan semua binatang buas yang bertaring dan burung yang berkuku mencengkeram." (Riwayat Bukhari)
Yang dimaksud Binatang Was (siba'), yaitu binatang yang menangkap binatang lainnya dan memakan dengan bengis, seperti singa, serigala dan lain-lain. Dan apa yang dimaksud dengan burung yang berkuku (dzi mikhlabin minath-thairi), yaitu yang kukunya itu dapat melukai, seperti burung helang, rajawali, ruak-ruak bangkai dan burung yang sejenis dengan helang.

do you...?

2009-04-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

The earth is getting older,

do you care about it?

The weather is getting colder,

do you feel it?

The sun is brighten,

do you realize it?

The trees, flowers...all are like stones

so static, with no fresh..

Maybe they know something

something that are hidden in this millennium n busy world

something that people nowadays do not even bother about it

The secret of the nature occurrence

by its CREATOR...

Wanita Idaman

2008-06-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

wanita yang aku sayangi

adalah pencinta Tuhannya

yang mengalir cinta, takut dan mengharap

yang menguasai perjalanan dan penghidupannya

dari waktu ke waktu

dari hari ke hari

sehingga perjanjian

di antara jasad dan nyawa

berakhir......

wanita yang aku rindui

adalah wanita yang di mata dan wajahnya

terpancar sinar nur Illahi

lidahnya basah dengan Zikrullah

di sudut hati kecilnya

sentiasa membesarkan Allah

wanita yang aku cintai

yang menutup auratnya

dari pandangan lelaki ajnabi

kehormatan dirinya menjadi mahal nilainya

disanjung tinggi

penduduk langit dan bumi

wanita yang aku impikan

adalah yang mendekatkan

hati yang telah jauh

kepada Ar Rahman dan Ar Rahim

namun aku tidak ada di sana

kerana aku dilamar kebendaan manusia

wanita yang aku kasihi

yang bersyukur pada apa yang ada

yang bersabar pada apa yang tiada

cinta pada hidup yang sederhana

yang tidak bermatakan benda

wanita yang aku sukai

menjadi dian pada dirinya sendiri

yang menjadi pelita untuk putera-puteri

untuk menyambung perjuangan di belakang hari

sesungguhnya wanita yang selalu

berasa di dalam doaku

adalah diriku, dirimu dan seluruh kaum hawaku

sahabatmu,

'aisyah ruslan

MENYINTAI TIDAK BERMAKNA MEMILIKI

2007-06-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

jangan kau angkuh melaungkan...

si dia kepunyaanmu

atau kau kepunyaan si dia

kerana hakikanya

kita tidak pernah memiliki sesiapa

walau sekeping hati seorang insan

tidakkah kau sedar

hukum alam menyatakan

menyintai tidak semestinya memiliki

manusia pandai berpura

berlakon di pentas dunia

dan bertopeng menutup rahsia

tetapi hati

tidak pernah berdusta pada empunya

tentang perasaan yang bergolak di dalamnya

tidakkah kau sedar

mungkin si dia melafazkan

ungkapan cinta padamu

tetapi hati dan perasaannya

tidak pernah berniat bagitu

dia hanya berselindung

di sebalik sejuta alasan

dan kau

begitu jujur dan setia menyintainya

sehingga terlupa

hukum alam menyatakan

menyintai tidak bermaksa memiliki

sesungguhnya

aku tidak pernah memiliki dirimu

dan kau jua tidak pernah memiliki diriku

mengertilah

kita sebenarnya kepunyaan

Yang Maha Esa

tidak sesiapa berhak memiliki diri kita

kecuali Dia

Dia mengasihi hambaNya

Dia memiliki hambaNya

dan kepangkuan Dia kita akan dikembali

ikhlas, 'aisyah ruslan

2006-03-18T13:12:00.000-08:00

another russian language class?

our teacher just asked us to add another class on saturday.

it's not that we dun like to study the language, it's just that i find it is quite a difficult language.

the experience learning the language, just like when we were in the kindergarten.

the thing that we hate the most is to raskaz text (we need to do and read our own text/story)

i remember my classmate, esp the boys, made the shortcut by written the russian text in english alphabets. just to make their story/text reading become more easy. hehehethanks to our 1st year russian language teacher for teaching us the 1st thing we need to do as a foreigner in this new different environment. she was a very nice teacher. eventhough she's not here right now anymore....
(she had an accident in Kiev which cost her, her own life..)

2005-12-18T12:22:00.000-08:00

living in russian territory is something different for me to experience.

people said "u'll never know if u never try"

i guess this is the road that i choose for my present life. studying medicine in ukraine. 2 heavy things i need to carry together. 1st to study medicine, 2nd to study about ukraine. (what i mean by this is, to study the language, the people, the living style, the habits, the food and other thing) actually i didnt expect it to be a heavy thing to study until i started my 1st day in ukraine.

train station clock tower, the city sign of simferopol, where im studying...

2005-11-27T15:29:00.000-08:00

i love reading blogs n love doing blog. the problem is that, im not really good in writing a story or anything that need sentences to explain about it. thats y i hate either karangan bahasa melayu or english essay so much. im not good in structuring the story. but right now what i can do is to write things that people can easily understand other than myself. jus need to try it 1st aite?

2005-11-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

among the very 1st thing u need to know when u come to a new place is to know where to get the food product.

the vegetables here a quite cheap, but not variety. the usual market can only get u some onions, garlics, carrots, potatoes, cabbages, cauliflowers....but if u want more, there are few supermarkets offer u some exported expensive vegetables...

1kilo of carrot/potato/cabbage only cost me 3-5grivens (rm2-3)